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Jerry Seinfeld
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Robert A. Heinlein
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Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.
Pablo Picasso
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When I was a child, my mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you will become a general. If you become a monk, then you will end up as Pope." Instead, I became a painter, and wound up as Picasso.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
Jarger
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Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
John Lehman
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Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Jack Handy
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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking tha