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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

—Elayne Boosler
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Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway

(2001)
Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Pages: 205
Personal Rating: 0/10
Amazon: 4/5
Goodreads: 4/5
Bindings:Paper Back
Classifications:Comedy
Synopsis:
Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly rewritten Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself...) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently.).